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During the 16 days of activism against gender based violance may we also remember the 1st type of abuse….

Emotional Abuse is the 1st and worst kind of abuse.

The 1st and worst kind of abuse is emotional abuse because only you can feel it when no one else can see it so it is always up to you to get yourself out of it before it becomes physical abuse.

Emotional abuse involves a person’s attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. It’s in the abuser’s words and actions, as well as their persistence in these behaviors.

The abuser could be your spouse or romantic partner. They could be your business partner or a parent.

If you’re wondering whether it’s happening to you, here are some of the signs:

*Yelling


*Name-calling


*Saying insulting words or otherwise ridiculing you


*Attempting to make you question your own sanity (gaslighting)


*Invading your privacy


*Punishing you for not going along with what they want


*Trying to control your life


*Isolating you from family and friends
*Making threats.


If you’ve been emotionally abused, know that it’s not your fault. There’s also not a “correct” way to feel about it.

No matter who it is, you don’t deserve it and it’s not your fault.

You might be in denial at first. It can be shocking to find yourself in such a situation. It’s natural to hope you’re wrong.

You may also have feelings of:

*Confusion


*Fear


*Hopelessness


*Shame


This emotional toll can also result in behavioral and physical side effects. You may experience:

*Difficulty concentrating


*Moodiness


*Muscle tension


*Nightmares


*Racing heartbeat


*Various aches and pains

You may also develop:

*Anxiety


*Chronic pain


*Guilt


*Insomnia


*Social withdrawal or loneliness

“It hurts the most when the person that made you feel so special yesterday makes you feel so unwanted today.” – unknown

“Your abuser’s trauma does not justify them abusing you.” – unknown

The time someone becomes abusive, they usually think there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with them. All the problems are your fault (they think).

If you just thought, “But I can’t leave!” you aren’t alone. Many women and men feel that way. However, there are ways to find your freedom.

Important Points to remember:

Don’t let someone who did you wrong make you think there’s something wrong with you. Don’t devalue yourself because they didn’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t.

A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity.

When someone isn’t treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you’ve got to love yourself more and walk away.

Sometimes you just have to get up and go, no matter what you fear will happen. If you’re not ready to leave quite yet, at least put together an exit strategy.

It’s better to break your own heart by leaving, rather than having that person break your heart every day you’re with them.

I still maintain that emotional abuse is the worst kind of abuse because it’s the beginning of all the abuses and may lead to deep psychological damage.

I hope you find the courage to accept the situation sooner and get yourself out as soon as it is possible.

Love and Light.

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